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Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands
By
Gerhard Reinke
IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?”
FRANCE
“Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that?
Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?”
ITALY
“Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ”
POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”
GERMANY
“Is this bratwurst kosher?”
TURKEY
“Where’s the hash at?
It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?”
KOREA
“Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?”
CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great.”
ENGLAND
“Did you ever get a piece of *** from that Diana chick?”
SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs?
Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?”
YEMEN
“Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean — ‘Land Of Fanatics And Dust’ ?”
INDIA
“You don’t live in teepees?
Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?”
ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!”
CANADA
“You’re like Americans without money.”
SPAIN
“So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow.
Your women can shave if they want to, right?
Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?”
SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”
MEXICO
“What’s that smell?”
SAUDI ARABIA
“Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car?
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?”
RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated?”
UZBEKISTAN
“Can you spell Uzbekistan?”
GREECE
“I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy.”
AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”
JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?”
AUSTRALIA
“How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?”
AMERICA
“Was John Wayne gay?”